the eternal student

How to stop your neighbor from shooting another neighbor

Alright, so the title is a bit sensationalist, but it's not far from the truth. The story may be long, but that's alright. It's for myself to read in a few years anyways to remind me of this life we live now.

Keeper ( our neighbor behind us, and whom I posted before about his broken relationship with Patrice) came over to borrow our cell phone because some trouble was going on at his house. We had just got back from the marriage conference and hadn't seen Gideon or Isaac for two days so I was a little preoccupied with them. I gave Keeper the phone and didn't check on him until 15 minutes later or so. I look into our backyard and he has a baseball bat and is yelling at 'Pops' (father of a former girlfirends of Keeper's who rents a back room of Keeper's house) and things are intense.
Things calm down and Keeper comes back up to our yard and calls 911 because 'Pops' is selling drugs and prostituting out of his house. Keeper won't stand for that (because his kids are around) and tells 911 they better come deal with it before he does. Apparently they got into a scuffle and Pops threw a brick at Keeper. Keeper came very close to shooting Pops. Keeper is like most immature men who think they need to fight for their 'manhood' and earn respect. I tell him it's not worth fighting a fool like Pops and anybody, even a wimp like me can shoot someone. It proves nothing. He's still pretty ticked about his manhood being challenged and calls the Warrant office to see if there is a warrant out for his arrest before he goes to report Pops. He calls 911, but then decides the police won't show up so he has to do something about it, even if that means going to jail. I tell him he is a fool and his pride is not worth losing his life or going to jail for.

Those of you that know me, know I'm pretty calm in all circumstances, especially when I should be panicking or something. The fact that my neighbors may be about to shoot each other is of some concern to me, so I try to stay out of direct contact, but am still watching the action. Fortunately the police do show up and tell Keeper to put his pistol away (he does have a license for it, scary) and tell him to talk a walk. So Keeper comes to our house and I reiterate that he is selfish, his pride will not prove anything, he doesn't need to sell himself short just to prove his manhood, and that God will deal with Pops. It may seem unfair that Pops is prospering and causing him to lose his (Keeper's)house, but that is for God to deal with. You need to watch yourself and stay out of trouble and watch your anger. Calling the police is all you can do. He wants to go for a ride so we head to Arby's just to hang out for awhile. I grab the cell phone, kiss Lynn and the kids goodnight, and head out. Lynn tells me to call if I'm later than midnight. Certainly, one of the strangest ways I've left my family.

Keeper is a young, smart guy. I genuinely enjoy his company and he is the first black guy my age in our neighborhood who I've actually had a desire for a real friendship with and think it could happen. But, I'm scared and wary of him much of the time because he is a fool. He is the fool in Proverbs in many ways in regards to time, money, attitude, anger, and women. But what is great about Keeper is that he really wants to learn what is wrong and how to improve. He is not a fool in the sense that he is willing to heed correction and advice. I explained why he is depraved and sinful, cannot do anything in his own accord or merit, needs redemption in Christ, and why we all struggle. He didn't slap me or look annoyed at me for laying into him and putting it all out. By the way, when you are explaining Christ's death on the cross to a non-believer does it sound like a strange and weird tale to you? Imagine hearing that for the first time. Like, I may as well tell them elephants fly out of the sky and bring you to heaven. If you can believe the story of the Cross, why not believe any other story of salvation? You'll know what I mean the first time you try to explain the Gospel to a friend. Strangers are easy because for the most part they don't really take you seriously, and you don't take them seriously because you don't have a relationship. (Forgive the generalization if you enjoy handing out Christian tracks.)

We talked for about 2 hours at Arby's. Keeper told me an amazing array of crazy things in his life and why he desires to have a family now and be married. He talks about a white girl, Jen, he just met and knows he can trust her because she wouldn't let him 'sleep' with her even though they have been sharing a bed. We talk about 'infatuation' love verse 'action' love, but he doesn't really get the idea of commitment, abstinence, and how to build a relationship. He believes in the 'booty call', i.e. sex can be noncommital and healthy. He is in counseling now for his anger, not because he cares about himself, but because he wants doesn't want to hurt his family. Good start, but he is still trying to do it on his own. I tell him Patrice is a crack addict and cares more about herself than he or their(?) son Marquis. He knows it, but still wants to be loved by somebody so bad that he thinks she loves him. I really don't know what to tell him in regards to Patrice. She is not a good potential mate and they are not married yet so he could walk away, except that Marquis might be his and in a way they really are married, just not ceremoniously. Any ideas?

I read through Proverbs 14 and 15 because they speak about how both Wisdom and Folly call out on the streets for 'the simple'. They both have fine meals and wine prepared. However, Wisdom bings understanding and adds years to life, whereas Folly enjoys in stolen wine and those in her midst are also in the midst of Death, although they don't know it. We read about anger, a gentle tongue, and the fool. He writes down Proverbs 14:17 to think about his quick-temper. I've been played many times before by people who talk Christian, but this is the first time I've ever sat down and actually had the courage to pinpoint specific sins in people using Scripture and helping them learn why it is there and how to deal with it. I don't believe Keeper is playing me, but I do know he is immature, a fool, and the Holy Spirit will really need to lay into him. I feel there are seeds there and I can only be faithful by being here. He may never lay his life down at the Cross due to rebellion, but he knows what it is about.

We end the night by bringing Keeper back to his house. He calls his Jen and she happens to be right around the corner at a friends house and is worried about him. He tells me she is beautiful, has a 3 month old kid, and is someone he can trust. I tell him he is fooling himself and is just continuing his destructive cycle. The fact that she has a kid and they are already sharing a bed, even if they haven't 'slept' together is all the proof I need. But, me being the optimistic and benefit-of-the-doubt guy I am, decide not to make a complete 100% judgement call until I meet her. Keeper is a very handsome, charismatic guy and so I was expecting Jen to be an attractive, tall, blond white girl. What I figured a black male would call a pretty, beautiful white woman. However, I learned a quick lesson in how beauty is relative and cultural, because Jen was what we of the white culture would call 'white trash'. I mean this in the most polite, stereotypical way possible (is that possible?). She fit the stereotype of the white girl who likes black men out of rebellion against her culture or parents or who knows what. I disgust myself, in that I would have excused Keeper a little more if Jen had been what I pictured. Where did I get the image that black men like white women who are tall and blonde? Did I think tall, blonde white women are the only ones loose enough to get in a relationship with someone like Keeper right now? Why do I associate certain behavior patterns with certain skin, body, and personality types. I'm ashamed much of it was my own thinking.

I left Keeper with Jen and her friend, knowing that I'd been faithful to Keeper as a friend, faithful to God in my witness, but also keenly aware that I was a fool and still a sinner in many ways. Lord, remove the deception from my eyes.

"The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways,
but the folly of fools is deception." Proverbs 14:8.

Posted by andyp at May 2, 2005 1:28 AM | TrackBack